What’s there to say about Garfield? The comic has been around for close to 50 years and is the world’s most syndicated strip. The character is hugely popular, with the merchandise sales alone making its creator, Jim Davis, a very wealthy man. Everyone knows and loves the fat cat’s eccentricities. So how in the world did the filmmakers make a movie that feels as if they’re learning about Garfield for the very first time?

In his latest theatrical outing, Garfield is kidnapped by a cat who is looking for revenge against Garfield’s long lost father. She forces them to run a heist at a dairy farm and steal a huge amount of milk in return for their freedom.

Yes, the laziest cat in the world is in a movie that will see him sprinting along conveyor belts with spinning blades, running from bad guys on the top of a train, jumping from drone to drone to escape, diving off a bridge, and so much more. This did not feel like a Garfield movie, but instead a random animated action film script that some executive had the bright idea to plug Garfield into. “We’ll just add some lasagna and have him mention how much he hates Mondays and people will love it.”

The movie was very slapstick heavy, almost feeling more like something from Warner Bros. It also included a lot of action movie references and homages that, again, maybe would have been funnier in some generic cat animated action movie. The script also featured some dubious “tech” that felt out of place in the Garfield-verse, including acorns that somehow, when put in the characters’ ears, allowed them to converse with each other at a distance, and a cat translator that lets cats talk to humans — something that if it existed seems like Garfield could make good use of at home with his owner Jon.

A few years ago I complained that kids movie writers apparently believed the children of America thought yoga was relatable or funny because they would not stop putting references in their movies. Today, it seems the writers are all in on thinking kids talk like adults. Last summer, characters in Ruby Gillman were discussing “post-colonial patriarchal constructs”. Now we have Garfield characters talking about how “self-actualized” they are. Just stop it writers. It’s not funny, kids don’t understand it, and it doesn’t make you look smarter.

And the less said about the Let’s Get It On scene with two cows, the better.

Sony, let’s talk about product placement. Whoever decided to put so much of it in this movie should be dragged out into the street and shot. At a certain point, it’s OK to leave some money on the table in the name of artistic integrity… even in a Garfield movie! Netflix, Popchips, FedEx, Walmart, so many Olive Garden references! I guess you don’t need to worry about the box office receipts if you have sponsors ponying up so much cash upfront.

Chris Pratt. I love the guy. He’s a great actor and always seems like he actually enjoys what he’s doing, on screen and when interacting with fans. So, while I admit I rolled my eyes a bit when he was announced to lead yet another major animated film project, it was more due to fatigue rather than concern about his abilities. Truth be told, however, here he wasn’t great. Within the first ten minutes of the film it seemed as if Garfield had tried out three different accents. One was pretty good, one was terrible, and one was just Chris. The rest of the film seemed to stick to the Pratt accent (or Prattcent, if you will).

There was one area where the movie shined and that was the animation. To be fair, that should be expected coming from a major studio production, but I wanted to at least say one nice thing about the film.

OK, your kids aren’t going to think any of this is a big fat hairy deal. It’s bright, colorful, it’s got slapstick comedy, and a funny cat. But for the rest of us, this just felt like such an unnecessary corporate money grab from people unconcerned about the fans of a pop culture institution. Find a cash cow, hire writers who don’t care about the material, and cha-ching. Come to think of it, there seems to be a lot of that going around in Hollywood these days.

		The Garfield Movie Sony May 24, 2024 101 minutes rated PG directed by Mark Dindal